Food Fight!
by Selina K
Summary: In which Draco and Ginny learn about the perils of using baked goods as weapons.


**Title**: Food Fight!

**Author**: Selina Kyle

**Rating**: PG-13 (for sexual situations and naughty language)

**Summary**: In which Draco and Ginny learn about the perils of using baked goods as weapons.

**Disclaimer**: Only playing with JKR's toys. Will put them back when I'm done.

**Author's Note**: Many thanks to Leah for looking it over and to Sarea Okelani for the extremely helpful feedback. Any remaining errors are mine. Thanks to everyone who reviewed my previous stories!

"Fruitcake?"

"Yes, fruitcake." Draco Malfoy groaned as he sat in the Slytherin common room, having been on the receiving end of the Weasley temper. "I can't believe—Ow! Careful there!" He winced in pain and glared at Pansy Parkinson, who was doing her best to attend to Draco by applying a compress to his head.

"Sorry," she cooed in a syrupy-sweet tone that contrasted oddly with the unapologetic smirk on her face. She pulled the cloth away and stared in shock at his forehead. "That's a ghastly-looking bump."

"What?" Draco rushed to the mirror across the room, nearly tripping over Goyle, who lay sprawled out on the cold marble floor, a posture that suggested he was either pondering the secrets of the universe or counting the cracks in the ceiling. It was difficult to tell at times, even for the most perceptive of his housemates.

"Ahhhh!" screamed the mirror as cracks started forming on its surface.

"Ahhhh!" yelled Draco. "What in bloody hell was in that fruitcake? Rocks?" He dragged his feet back to the couch and collapsed against Pansy, a hand pressed dramatically to his head. "She's ruined me!"

"Oh absolutely," she murmured distractedly as she perused the pages of the current issue of _Witch Weekly_. "So, what exactly did you say to Weasley?"

"Nothing that deserved this, I can assure you. I was at the Owlery, about to send a letter to my dear mum, when I ran into the girl, made some polite statements about her fruitcake—all right, not so polite," he amended hastily at Pansy's quirked eyebrow. "She hurled the thing at me and the next thing I saw was a gaggle of Hufflepuffs watching me cough up feathers. Do you realize how embarrassing that was?"

"I can only imagine," Pansy replied absently, more interested in the half-naked wizard winking back at her from the pages than the tragic tale.

"Well I can't let this outrage pass. The girl needs to learn her lesson." A colorful advertisement caught his eye and he snatched the magazine from Pansy's hands in order to take a closer look.

"Hey!"

Draco ignored her attempts to steal it back and studied the page intently before ripping it out and tossing the silly magazine back to her. He'd just found the perfect solution to his dilemma.

_Three agonizing days later…_

This was going to be good day, Draco decided as brushed the wrinkles from his Italian-tailored robes. The unsightly blot on his forehead had faded away, and if his calculations were correct (and they always were), the Weasley girl would be getting what she so rightfully deserved this very day. With one last look at the appropriately appreciative mirror, he made his way to the Great Hall.

_After a delightful breakfast of bangers and mash, and fueled by an unhealthy amount of coffee…_

The couple at the end of the Gryffindor table continued to talk softly, oblivious to the curious glances thrown in their direction, including the one Draco aimed at Pansy's head. Really, she was taking this romance with Potter far too seriously. He'd have to speak to her about this highly disgraceful behavior—

The arrival of the morning mail saved him from further dark thoughts. He watched intently as an owl dropped off a package at the Gryffindor table, right in front of Ginny Weasley. She seemed quite surprised, but that only lasted a second before she eagerly ripped open the paper wrappings. He couldn't see much from his seat at the Slytherin table, but he already knew what was in it: Diana's Devilishly Decadent Dark Chocolate, flavoured with a "special" ingredient. He smirked as the red-haired brat slapped the Weasel King's hand away and quickly popped one of the chocolates in her mouth.

"Shouldn't be long now," he thought gleefully, rubbing his hands together. Sweet revenge at last! Draco spied a few Slytherin first-years slanting worried looks in his direction. "Don't you have better things to do?" he hissed at them before turning his attention back to the Gryffindors.

Ten minutes later, he was drumming fingertips on the table, ignoring the now openly annoyed glances from the rest of his House. The object of his attention continued to engage in silly banter with her mates, showing no signs of being inconvenienced by the treat. Draco finally got up from the table in a huff. It was useless to wait around any longer; obviously the product had not performed as promised. Just before he reached the door, he decided to chance one more look at the girl and discovered (to his immense relief) that all was not lost. Weasley was now fidgeting in her seat, though she was trying her best not to draw attention to herself. Her hands were twisted in her lap, and there was no mistaking the slightly pink glow to her cheeks. After her eyes had glazed over a few times, the girl rose from her seat and hurried out of the Great Hall, nearly knocking him over in her haste.

Draco counted quietly to three before casually strolling after her. Once the doors closed behind him, he sprinted up the stairs, making it all the way to the seventh floor before losing Weasley completely. He stared down the hallway, at a loss as to which direction she might've gone.

"You there!" he called out as he approached a portrait of two women in absurdly large hats chatting away over afternoon tea. However, the women were not too thrilled with the interruption, choosing to ignore him until he started poking at the canvas with his wand.

"Young man, as you can see we're engaged at the moment. Come back later when you've polished your manners," the lady with the many-feathered hat sniffed disdainfully.

Draco rolled his eyes and tried again. "Have you seen a girl come by here? Red hair? This high?" he added hopefully.

Her companion, the lady in the hat adorned with eye-searing fuchsia and yellow striped ribbons, tittered at his question. "Did your sweetheart run away from you? Was she in an awful hurry? Try that door, she disappeared into it a few minutes ago."

"What door?" he demanded. These birds were obviously mad, given their choice in millinery.

They pointed behind him. "That one!" Draco turned around and blinked in surprise. True enough, there was a door on the wall across from him, one that hadn't been there a minute before. He started walking across the hallway before a loud "ahem" stopped him in his tracks. Right. He turned back to the portrait and grudgingly muttered his thanks, which the ladies seemed to think was adequate enough. He turned the doorknob as silently as he could and pushed into the room—

Only to be immediately engulfed in a red haze He ripped the gauzy curtains from his face and stared at his surroundings in amazement. As best as he could tell (and he was only going by the covers on the horrid romances Pansy liked to read), he was in a harem of sorts, complete with an overabundance of cushions and shiny fabrics. But where was that Weasley girl?

"Ohhhhh…"

The corner of his lips twisted up at the feminine moan. So the chocolate wasn't faulty after all. He followed the sound of her voice, pulling back curtain after curtain, until he could make out a dark shape beyond the last ones. Draco crouched down to take a peek between the panels and nearly fell over in surprise at the sight that awaited him.

Ginny Weasley, skirt pulled up and knickers shoved down to her knees, lounging back on sinfully sumptuous pillows, both hands busy between her thighs. Draco hadn't realized the girl was so delectable. Before this revelation, she'd been hardly more than an unceasing source of irritation. Now he couldn't decide which was more enticing, the occasional flash of red between slick fingers, or the pert nipples peaking over a hastily pulled-down bra.

"Yes…almost there…"

Her breathy whispers, coupled with the intensely erotic display, made an enormous impression on a certain part of his anatomy. His trousers now felt awfully constricting, and the sense of discomfort was distracting him from paying close attention to the movement of her hips. So he freed himself, sighing with relief, and leaned forward eagerly, completely oblivious to the fact that he was slowly slipping out of his hiding place—

"Ahhhh!" shrieked Draco as he suddenly he fell forward, sprawling ingloriously at her feet.

"Ahhhh!" screamed Ginny as she tried in vain to cover her girly bits. "What are you doing here, you filthy pervert!"

Draco tried to haul himself up. "Right. Well, this is against school regulations, you know. Absolutely no wanking in the classrooms. Twenty points from Gryffindor!" Unfortunately his statement didn't quite have the impact he wanted due to the trousers currently pooled around his ankles.

Ginny's eyes narrowed, understanding stripping away the fog of lust. "You're responsible for this, aren't you?" she hissed in anger and reached out to grab Draco's tie. Her actions caused him to collapse on top of her, his hands accidentally brushing against her damp thighs, eliciting a strangled groan from his parched throat.

She was not amused. "I've half a mind to just petrify you and use your—" Her eyes flicked over him in a calculating glance. "—surprisingly impressive prick as a sex toy. Or…" Her voice dropped down to a husky purr. "You can help me out with my little problem. What will it be, Malfoy?"

Draco paused in thought. "Since you asked so nicely…" He bent down, partly to take Ginny's lips in a swift, hard kiss and partly to duck the fist aimed at his head.

_Twenty sweaty minutes later…_

There were benefits, Draco decided as he rolled over on his back to catch his breath, to testing the limits of Ginny Weasley's temper. He really should do that more often.

"And how long is the spell supposed to last?" Ginny propped herself up on an elbow beside him. She didn't seem too angry; perhaps a bit of truth wouldn't hurt. "A few hours, at least."

"In that case…" She reached out and wrapped her fingers around him, coaxing him back to hardness. "You'll have to keep me company until it ends."

He had no objections to that.


End file.
